where am i from again
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize