My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
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honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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