You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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