I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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