Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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