I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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