i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
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