no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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