What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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