Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize