1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
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