And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
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It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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