hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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