Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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