i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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