I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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