While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize