so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize