I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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