I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
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I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
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Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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