$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize