I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize