I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
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There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
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I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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