Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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