She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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