Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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