Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want nice things and good sex
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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