ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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