wanna go halves on a baby?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
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She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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