they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
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Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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