Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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