I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize