My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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