week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
