i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
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