drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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