i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize