I puked a lego.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize