Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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