There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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