You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize