she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize