Don't make out with my wife yet
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I have demons in me.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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