I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize