how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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