Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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