I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
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Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
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Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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