i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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