theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
My vagina just clenched in fear
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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