everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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