I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
sex in a hospital.. check
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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